best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
