i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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