Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
