We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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