I'm going to jail i love you
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
