I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
