oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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