Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
