Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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