Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
