Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...

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(803): View more from South Carolina

What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.

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(440): View more from Ohio

New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."

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(925): View more from California

Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.

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(925): View more from California

You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous

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(407): View more from Florida

When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.

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(619): View more from California

Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!

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