maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
