dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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