You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
