I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
