Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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