that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
