no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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