loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The feeling are messing with the penis
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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