This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
