No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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