I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
