you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize