Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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