and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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