I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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