..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
