I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
