It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
