UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
