she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
