To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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