Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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