let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
