It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
