just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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