hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
