if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
