those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
