With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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