The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize