Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
