so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
