This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Say something about gay babies.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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