once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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