Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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