My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
