There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize