Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
