Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
