this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
