ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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