i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
