drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
