then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
