At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
