I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
