i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
