and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
