so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize